On love

Some people are darn lucky when it comes to love, and I’m damn guilty of that.

Think of it this way: First love that lasted up until now since 1999.  Fairy tale? Better believe it

But I’m not going to talk about that in this entry.  Rather, I’m talking about yours.  Are you one of restless wanderers in the land of loveless oblivion, tirelessly searching for his/her significant other? Technically, I don’t really feel I should be giving advice about love since I’m not married yet, but being in a relationship for almost a decade now, I think I can share a few experiences that might be able to help you find your significant other, save a relationship, or even save your poor heart from breaking apart over and over again.

Why the heck did I make an entry like this? Dunno, maybe it’s cause I’m tired and sleepy? Hahaha

Your lover, your bestfriend

Believe it or not, in my experience, m/f bestfriendship works better than m/m or f/f.  You can rarely find 2 guys in this planet cry in front of his best pal. When a woman fights with his boyfriend, she will consult with her female bestfriend but will the relationship be saved? No.  Because the female bestfriend doesn’t know what’s going on and will be very biased.

If you want a bigger chance of success in finding the right person, you must be able to see him/her as your bestfriend.  True friendship will always save a love relationship.  If you think you’re ready for a relationship, you must also be ready to let go of your current bestfriend and make a new bestfriend out of your partner.  Don’t force it though.  If you don’t think he/she can fit the role, I’m certain the relationship will only last a few months.  A bestfriend status has a lot of things to fill.  Don’t call just anyone your bestfriend.  He/she must be the best among your friends.

Good communication

This is true, especially for new relationships.  Bad communication will almost certainly guarantee a break up.  If you have had a fight with your boy/girl friend, talk to him/her.  Don’t consult with another friend as your first move, don’t even do a “cool off.” This is your problem. Talk to your partner. Every relationship is unique and I’m afraid your friend will not be able to solve it.   Though you can ask your friends for an advice or two if you’re really inexperienced on what to do next, but never let them decide if you should break up with him/her.  It’s your choice.  You entered a relationship because you thought you were “ready.”  Don’t involve other people if you don’t want to be confused.  If you mess up, learn from your mistakes.

Sex is not the proving grounds of true love

Actually, if you can honestly say to yourself “I love her, even if I can’t make love to her,” then you know it’s love.  A partner who will ask you for sex in order for you to prove your love to him/her is nuts.  Sex will always come at the right time.  

Time and honesty with your bestfriend/lover

Letting your partner feel that you have time for him/her is essential for a relationship to solidify.  If you can, make him/her feel that you’re at your happiest when you’re with him/her.  Again, don’t force it though.  If you can’t feel it, don’t.  What I’m saying is that you have to be honest with your feelings.  You have to show your partner how you truly feel when he/she is around.  

Don’t pour everything into a new relationship unless you’re completely sure

This is one of the most common things as to why people are afraid to love again after a break up.  A person will always be in his/her best smile when trying to court someone.  Just to be safe, don’t love a new partner 100% just yet.  Try to peel your partner’s mask and see his/her true self.  If you think he/she is the one, then go ahead and love your partner 200% more. 

…And the list goes on but I’m sure I’ve laid out the most important parts. I’m gonna stop now.  Senses are coming back again.  Hehe